Pisatine and Pineapple

I have seen two memes on Facebook that speak a lot of truth. One says. "Happiness is hanging with your grown up kids!". The other - " Happiness is when you realize that your children have grown up to be good people."

Yes, there is a lot of crap on Facebook, but these two are profoundly touching for me. After a rocky road over the last twenty-six years, I am blessed to realize both.

I know that psychology tells us that at any given time, we do the best with what we have at that moment. I did not have a lot to work with when Neal was born. I was never a maternally inclined person, always being more in tune with fur babies than human. I had lost my career; my chronic depression was exacerbated by severe postpartum depression and anxiety, and no one knew what to do with me. I was beleaguered by my toxic relationship with my mother; she did everything in power to demean and undercut me. I tried to fit the mold of the good, stay at home country wife and mother ( I even taught Baptist Sunday school, if you can believe that!) for 5 years until my mental and physical health dictated that I DO something. So, I left Neal with my ex-husband ( who is a good person), and set out to "re-find" myself". I would look after myself; Cameron would look after Neal.

Over the next twenty 21 years, I eventually got my act together, resumed teaching, remarried. Neal and I were close until he hit 18 or so. Then we went through a silent few years. I didn't push him; I just hoped that one day we would be able to have a better relationship. That day came in May 2018.

Darren and I were in Calgary visiting his daughter, Jocelyn. At 3am, my phone started beeping. What the..? It was Neal. All I will say is that he sent me the most beautiful, from the heart message that any mother could ever hope to receive. Of course, I cried! And immediately used the last of my Air Miles so I could fly to NS and go to a concert with him - our favorite band, Rawlins' Cross!

Now Neal didn't have much choice in loving this Celtic Rock band as he had been listening to them since he was conceived in 1992. But this was our first chance to see them together. Tears were shed by both of us, but they were joyful ones, and thankful ones.  I returned to Calgary after 4 days in NS with a grateful heart for the second chance I had been given. Oh, yes, Sushi played a big part in that as well..lol!

Springboard ahead to October 2018. My friend, Debbie, owner of Leaves and Lizards Eco Retreat in Monterrey, Costa Rica (yes, this is a plug!) wanted me to come to her "Horse Crazy Event" in late January. This would be a very cool workshop and a huge community Cabalgata (crazy trail ride for 6 hours with much eating and drinking).

I wanted someone to go with me as this was not Darren's idea of a good time; none of my girl friends could go. And then it hit me...Neal!! He had never been anywhere outside of a school trip to London; I wanted to show him Central America! What better place to start than Costa Rica at a gorgeous retreat (another plug...seriously...yah gotta go there!). Darren and I gave him the airfare for his birthday and Christmas; he footed the rest of the bill. I was thrilled; I was scared! Neal was never a "horse person"; what if he hated it; what if he didn't have fun; what if he didn't want to do any of the other stuff like hiking, yoga, hanging by the pool;, trying new stuff.....arrrggghhhhhhh! My overactive imagination was sending my anxiety through the roof. The message from the Universe was loud and clear, "ANNE - STFU!" Ok.

 And, as always, the Universe was right on the money. It was such a joy too share my love of horses with him and see him take to it like ....he was born to! Part of the workshop was being selected by "your" horse. A tough little Criollo named Pisatine picked Neal.

 Pisatine picking Neal

Learning horse language

 Cabalgata

I knew Pisatine from other times I had been there (this was my 7th time - see..really nice place!!). I knew he was safe and dependable but also opinionated. Over the 5 days of the workshop, I saw him stubbornly challenge Neal to step into his power and energy. I loved what I saw; I saw my son becoming more confident and assured right before my eyes! He was also meeting people who opened his eyes to different ways of living and growing up: Eric, the Yoga Teacher and all round great guy; Alejandro - the bar tender / receptionist / great story teller who is expecting a new baby, Mariela - our guide - a walking encyclopedia of nature who was only one year older than Neal, but had worked 3 jobs since she was 13 to put herself through school, has a 2 yr old daughter and a business on the side! Wow! Neal also got into the groove of Leaves and Lizards. This included chilling with a Chihuahua, having quality hammock and pool time, indulging in Alejandro's special "Pure Vida" cocktail, yoga, hiking.....he was up for all of it!

The waterfall ride is always a highlight of
any stay at Leaves and Lizards. This secluded and private swimming hole is a true piece of paradise. I was so happy to be showing it to my son; this was something I never thought would come to pass.

The days flew by all too quickly. I rented a car for the last 3 days after the workshop, and we walked through a cloud forest, hiked to the base of a volcano and drifted down the Cano Negro which was teeming with birds, monkeys, bats, sloths and caymans. You don't see those in New Ross, NS!

On our way to the Cano Negro, we passed many huge pineapple farms, so I took this shot of Neal at one of the gates. I kept asking him throughout our time there what were the highlights for him. Watching him embrace the whole experience was mine, so I was curious as to what he would say.

"Pisatine and Pineapples!" He loved his connection with Pisa and had never eaten fresh, homegrown pineapples. The ones we get in Canada are nothing like the sweet, juicy, delicious fruit grown here. I am still smiling as I recall him saying this. How perfect - Pisatine and Pineapples!

I can't wait for out next adventure!
Pura Vida, mi hijo!