The Really Hard Part # 3 - Family!
I tell people that I do not have a lot of family, and, in numbers, that is true. I am an only child; Darren is an only child; Neal, my son is an only child as is Darren's daughter, Jocelyn. But I have learned through observation and experience over the years that numbers don't matter and blood does not a family make. Connection from the heart makes family, and I am a rich woman in the love of my family.
People who love you do not hold you back; their love is not selfish. It weathers the storms and spans great distances. Now, to be honest, Facebook and Facetime makes this distance seem much less than it really is. But the reality is that both Darren and I are a long way from our family.
I asked my son, Neal, "So, how do you feel about me moving to Panama?". His response? " It's cool! You have to live your life, and I can come visit! Now let's go get Sushi!"
Neal has grown into a wonderful, young man. I was not always a stable fixture in his life, a fact that I regret immensely, but, given the state of my mental health during his younger years, I have come to accept that I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I am so fortunate that he is a compassionate and loving person with whom I have been able to be honest about my failings and strengths, and we have evolved our relationship from there. He has matured into a responsible worker and has a great job driving heavy equipment in a Gypsum mine; a job that should set him up well for life. I am so proud of him, and can not wait for him to visit me here. I hope that he finds a life partner who will share and enhance his future, but right now he is single and available! A country girl who likes to game and has her own career would be ideal...just Mama hoping!
Darren's daughter, Jocelyn, is such a sweetheart. She and her dad became extremely close after her mom passed away in 2000. Jocey has the kindest heart and welcomed me into the family even though I know the transition was difficult. She and her fiance, Jared, have made wonderful lives for themselves in Calgary where she is the manager of a private Ultra-sound Clinic, he works in Pharmaceuticals. They opened their home to us for the month of September before we flew South, and, should the need arise, will be our North Star should we have to return to Canada. Not to mention they live in the province with the cheapest taxes...just sayin'! 😉
The big day for them is 10 months away when they will be married in Halifax. A great reason for us to make a trip back! Jocey and Jared did us the biggest favor in the world when they agreed to take our Goldens, Tessa and Charlie to live with them and their young dog, Jarvis, in Calgary. As hard as it was for us to leave them, we are so thankful that our 10 year old babies are in loving hands and happy! Now that we are here, we know that bringing them here would not have been the right thing for them, so they are now frolicking in the snow in the winter and cooling off in the Bow River in the summer. I was so thrilled when Jocey took Darren and I with her to look at wedding dresses...and found THE ONE! I have pictures, but promised not to post them 'cause Jared can't see it! I can't wait to see them get married, and I know her dad will shed a few tears on that day!
Darren's dad, Mel, will be 93 on Dec.23. A veteran of WW2, he and his wife, Barb, were married for 64 years before she passed away 4 years ago. A stroke in 2000 took away his mobility on his left side, but not his spirit or his sense of humour. Naturally we were concerned about moving away, but his words to us were ones from experience; " Go enjoy your lives while you still have your health! Look what happened to me! I'll be fine. Just call me once in awhile!". That last part has been harder than we though as our phone service is sketchy, but we have kept him in the loop. We are so fortunate that Halifax has a wonderful Veterans' Memorial Hospital where Mel is enjoying a quality of life that had been denied to him for many years. A social butterfly, he tootles around in his electric wheelchair, goes to hockey games and all kind of social outings as well as having his personal and medical cares looked after. This last summer he and a care giver travelled to Winnipeg, Manitoba, to visit his brothers and sisters who still live there. He handled the flights like a trooper! Better than Darren does..lol! He has given us so much, including the freedom to do what we are doing. We are so grateful to him and can't wait to see him in September!
Cousins played a big role in my life in my younger years, and I am blessed to have reconnected with some of them over the last few years. My mother's side of the family was a troubled one, and we have all gone through rough times because of that, but it also bonded us in a way that no matter how long we go without seeing each other, we know that there is someone else who understands the forces that shaped us because we all shared them. I now wish that we had kept in closer touch over the years. Just before I left N.S., I was fortunate to reconnect with a cousin on my dad's side of the family, a side that, sadly, I only saw infrequently after he passed away when I was 5, but again, shared memories made it seem like yesterday. My cousins knew me "when", and can bring up the good and bad times, and the embarrassing memories that keep me humble! I know they are keeping tabs on me down here, and I hope that they come to visit.
Which brings me to the family I chose: the special friendships that became thicker than blood. Sisterhood. I have been blessed to have had many wonderful girlfriends in my life, but over the last 53 years, 4 have become my sisters: Pam, Cindy, Char and Shelley in chronological order. And they deserve their own post. Later, Chicas!
People who love you do not hold you back; their love is not selfish. It weathers the storms and spans great distances. Now, to be honest, Facebook and Facetime makes this distance seem much less than it really is. But the reality is that both Darren and I are a long way from our family.
I asked my son, Neal, "So, how do you feel about me moving to Panama?". His response? " It's cool! You have to live your life, and I can come visit! Now let's go get Sushi!"
Neal has grown into a wonderful, young man. I was not always a stable fixture in his life, a fact that I regret immensely, but, given the state of my mental health during his younger years, I have come to accept that I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I am so fortunate that he is a compassionate and loving person with whom I have been able to be honest about my failings and strengths, and we have evolved our relationship from there. He has matured into a responsible worker and has a great job driving heavy equipment in a Gypsum mine; a job that should set him up well for life. I am so proud of him, and can not wait for him to visit me here. I hope that he finds a life partner who will share and enhance his future, but right now he is single and available! A country girl who likes to game and has her own career would be ideal...just Mama hoping!
Darren's daughter, Jocelyn, is such a sweetheart. She and her dad became extremely close after her mom passed away in 2000. Jocey has the kindest heart and welcomed me into the family even though I know the transition was difficult. She and her fiance, Jared, have made wonderful lives for themselves in Calgary where she is the manager of a private Ultra-sound Clinic, he works in Pharmaceuticals. They opened their home to us for the month of September before we flew South, and, should the need arise, will be our North Star should we have to return to Canada. Not to mention they live in the province with the cheapest taxes...just sayin'! 😉
The big day for them is 10 months away when they will be married in Halifax. A great reason for us to make a trip back! Jocey and Jared did us the biggest favor in the world when they agreed to take our Goldens, Tessa and Charlie to live with them and their young dog, Jarvis, in Calgary. As hard as it was for us to leave them, we are so thankful that our 10 year old babies are in loving hands and happy! Now that we are here, we know that bringing them here would not have been the right thing for them, so they are now frolicking in the snow in the winter and cooling off in the Bow River in the summer. I was so thrilled when Jocey took Darren and I with her to look at wedding dresses...and found THE ONE! I have pictures, but promised not to post them 'cause Jared can't see it! I can't wait to see them get married, and I know her dad will shed a few tears on that day!
Darren's dad, Mel, will be 93 on Dec.23. A veteran of WW2, he and his wife, Barb, were married for 64 years before she passed away 4 years ago. A stroke in 2000 took away his mobility on his left side, but not his spirit or his sense of humour. Naturally we were concerned about moving away, but his words to us were ones from experience; " Go enjoy your lives while you still have your health! Look what happened to me! I'll be fine. Just call me once in awhile!". That last part has been harder than we though as our phone service is sketchy, but we have kept him in the loop. We are so fortunate that Halifax has a wonderful Veterans' Memorial Hospital where Mel is enjoying a quality of life that had been denied to him for many years. A social butterfly, he tootles around in his electric wheelchair, goes to hockey games and all kind of social outings as well as having his personal and medical cares looked after. This last summer he and a care giver travelled to Winnipeg, Manitoba, to visit his brothers and sisters who still live there. He handled the flights like a trooper! Better than Darren does..lol! He has given us so much, including the freedom to do what we are doing. We are so grateful to him and can't wait to see him in September!
Cousins played a big role in my life in my younger years, and I am blessed to have reconnected with some of them over the last few years. My mother's side of the family was a troubled one, and we have all gone through rough times because of that, but it also bonded us in a way that no matter how long we go without seeing each other, we know that there is someone else who understands the forces that shaped us because we all shared them. I now wish that we had kept in closer touch over the years. Just before I left N.S., I was fortunate to reconnect with a cousin on my dad's side of the family, a side that, sadly, I only saw infrequently after he passed away when I was 5, but again, shared memories made it seem like yesterday. My cousins knew me "when", and can bring up the good and bad times, and the embarrassing memories that keep me humble! I know they are keeping tabs on me down here, and I hope that they come to visit.
Which brings me to the family I chose: the special friendships that became thicker than blood. Sisterhood. I have been blessed to have had many wonderful girlfriends in my life, but over the last 53 years, 4 have become my sisters: Pam, Cindy, Char and Shelley in chronological order. And they deserve their own post. Later, Chicas!
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