Euphoria is Overrated
Over my life I have learned never to allow myself to get ecstatically happy over anything. For me, that puts the kiss of death on whatever it is that has elevated my joy! I am pleased to report that nothing has changed.
So, we are selling the house. This is a process that I hate passionately! You see, Darren could care less if we ever get out of here. I, on the other hand, will end up in a straight jacket in a rubber room if I have to retire here. I can not imagine spending the next 25 or so years of my life in the same old same old that I spent the first 21 years and the last 30 in. First and foremost, from November until April, I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder) which essentially turns me into a Grizzly Bear: hibernation, carbs and depression. Now add a chronic depressive and anxiety disorder on top of that....well..I am sure you can get the picture! Yes, medication helps, but for those months, getting out of bed and functioning is sometimes more than I can handle. One of the appeals of Panama is that the sun rises and sets at the same time 365 days of the year so my SAD will be resolved. Also, I will NEVER be cold again..oh...just the idea of that blisses me out!
So, mental issues aside, I am bored here. I am not able to indulge in my passions: horses (can't afford one); photography (if I have to shoot one more fishing boat...yawn...) or travel (staying in this over priced, money grubbing, tax hell hole makes that impossible). I am not a "joiner"; only child syndrome has made a bit of a loner out of me and very independent, so I am not about to take up gardening. knitting or any of the traditional social outlets typical of females of my vintage. I am sorry if I sound like a bit of a snob; I certainly mean no disrespect to anyone who enjoys those activities; they are just not for me. I have always been a square peg trying to fit into a round hole; I do not want to continue that for the rest of my life.
So..back to the house. We hoped to sell it privately as we do need every penny. So, we got an opinion from a real estate guy and posted a very (if I may say so) attractive ad on Kijiji. Hell, I would have bought it! 1561 views later, not one damn call...except a few emails from hopeful real estate agents. So...we put a For Sale sign by the driveway. Well, that got some action!
The first ones who came were a family who lived up the street; they wanted to rent it and then buy it in a year. Nope..not a chance! A couple people called, but no follow ups. So, we decided to set up an appointment on a Monday with a real estate agent, a woman whose brothers I had grown up with. That Sunday night, a knock came at our door. It was a lady who lived up the street and was inquiring about the house on behalf of her son and his wife. We talked quite awhile; she seemed quite impressed with the house and asked if they could come the next night. I agreed to postpone the meeting with Julie, the Real Estate Agent, and agreed to meeting with them. Monday night, the young couple, their six year old daughter, the 2 mothers and one father showed up. To make a long story short, they loved the place and would get back to us within 2 days regarding their pre-approval. Fine with us!
The next day they emailed me; they were pre-approved for an amount that fell short of the price we were asking. OK. We countered by dropping a bit and they said they would consider it. On Wed morning, I got the email at 11:00 am that said they were going to accept that offer and wanted to move forward. Laughter, joyous, hysterical, cackling, uncontrollable laughter burst out of me! The utter relief of having that immense worry lifted from me was unbelievable. The idea that I could now enter the summer of my retirement and just enjoy every moment knowing that I did not have to worry about selling the house created a pure euphoria in me such that I had not felt since the birth of my foal, Tucker, in March of 1991. That alone should have warned me. I lost him to a rare degenerative disease in May of 1992. My heart was shattered at that time; it has never fully healed.
I went through the school day literally in a haze of sheer and utter joy! I thought that, for once, a major shift was going to be easy for me, I swear, I was floating out the door to the car at the end of the day. Then I checked my email. I could hear the crash as reality brought my bliss to a screeching halt. They backed out!
I can only imagine that plunging from the top of the Grand Canyon can compare to the plummet that my mood took in the 5 seconds that it took for me to read that email. They could not come up with the extra money that they thought they could. So..that was it...not able to move forward...so very sorry...blah, blah..WTF? So, I asked a simple question, IF we lowered the price were they still interested? No response. Huh? I checked FB - she unfriended me! Huh? I sent an email. No response. Huh? What the heck did I do?
And I guess that is what bothers me the most. Why the complete shut down in communication? Why the sudden shift from HOT to cold? I feel like I have done something criminal; I know I haven't, but this makes no sense. I am trying to understand it, but I have a feeling it is a generational disconnect. For whatever reason, one must avoid personal discussions at all cost. I should have clued in from the very first when the mother had to come and talk to us because she was "too shy".
Anyway, this whole experience made a few things abundantly clear: I am NOT going through this again; we will use Julie( met with her tonight and it was so great to reconnect!); and I will NOT allow myself to ever impulsively enter a state of euphoria again! I know better and the high ain't worth the low!
So, we are selling the house. This is a process that I hate passionately! You see, Darren could care less if we ever get out of here. I, on the other hand, will end up in a straight jacket in a rubber room if I have to retire here. I can not imagine spending the next 25 or so years of my life in the same old same old that I spent the first 21 years and the last 30 in. First and foremost, from November until April, I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder) which essentially turns me into a Grizzly Bear: hibernation, carbs and depression. Now add a chronic depressive and anxiety disorder on top of that....well..I am sure you can get the picture! Yes, medication helps, but for those months, getting out of bed and functioning is sometimes more than I can handle. One of the appeals of Panama is that the sun rises and sets at the same time 365 days of the year so my SAD will be resolved. Also, I will NEVER be cold again..oh...just the idea of that blisses me out!
So, mental issues aside, I am bored here. I am not able to indulge in my passions: horses (can't afford one); photography (if I have to shoot one more fishing boat...yawn...) or travel (staying in this over priced, money grubbing, tax hell hole makes that impossible). I am not a "joiner"; only child syndrome has made a bit of a loner out of me and very independent, so I am not about to take up gardening. knitting or any of the traditional social outlets typical of females of my vintage. I am sorry if I sound like a bit of a snob; I certainly mean no disrespect to anyone who enjoys those activities; they are just not for me. I have always been a square peg trying to fit into a round hole; I do not want to continue that for the rest of my life.
So..back to the house. We hoped to sell it privately as we do need every penny. So, we got an opinion from a real estate guy and posted a very (if I may say so) attractive ad on Kijiji. Hell, I would have bought it! 1561 views later, not one damn call...except a few emails from hopeful real estate agents. So...we put a For Sale sign by the driveway. Well, that got some action!
The first ones who came were a family who lived up the street; they wanted to rent it and then buy it in a year. Nope..not a chance! A couple people called, but no follow ups. So, we decided to set up an appointment on a Monday with a real estate agent, a woman whose brothers I had grown up with. That Sunday night, a knock came at our door. It was a lady who lived up the street and was inquiring about the house on behalf of her son and his wife. We talked quite awhile; she seemed quite impressed with the house and asked if they could come the next night. I agreed to postpone the meeting with Julie, the Real Estate Agent, and agreed to meeting with them. Monday night, the young couple, their six year old daughter, the 2 mothers and one father showed up. To make a long story short, they loved the place and would get back to us within 2 days regarding their pre-approval. Fine with us!
The next day they emailed me; they were pre-approved for an amount that fell short of the price we were asking. OK. We countered by dropping a bit and they said they would consider it. On Wed morning, I got the email at 11:00 am that said they were going to accept that offer and wanted to move forward. Laughter, joyous, hysterical, cackling, uncontrollable laughter burst out of me! The utter relief of having that immense worry lifted from me was unbelievable. The idea that I could now enter the summer of my retirement and just enjoy every moment knowing that I did not have to worry about selling the house created a pure euphoria in me such that I had not felt since the birth of my foal, Tucker, in March of 1991. That alone should have warned me. I lost him to a rare degenerative disease in May of 1992. My heart was shattered at that time; it has never fully healed.
I went through the school day literally in a haze of sheer and utter joy! I thought that, for once, a major shift was going to be easy for me, I swear, I was floating out the door to the car at the end of the day. Then I checked my email. I could hear the crash as reality brought my bliss to a screeching halt. They backed out!
I can only imagine that plunging from the top of the Grand Canyon can compare to the plummet that my mood took in the 5 seconds that it took for me to read that email. They could not come up with the extra money that they thought they could. So..that was it...not able to move forward...so very sorry...blah, blah..WTF? So, I asked a simple question, IF we lowered the price were they still interested? No response. Huh? I checked FB - she unfriended me! Huh? I sent an email. No response. Huh? What the heck did I do?
And I guess that is what bothers me the most. Why the complete shut down in communication? Why the sudden shift from HOT to cold? I feel like I have done something criminal; I know I haven't, but this makes no sense. I am trying to understand it, but I have a feeling it is a generational disconnect. For whatever reason, one must avoid personal discussions at all cost. I should have clued in from the very first when the mother had to come and talk to us because she was "too shy".
Anyway, this whole experience made a few things abundantly clear: I am NOT going through this again; we will use Julie( met with her tonight and it was so great to reconnect!); and I will NOT allow myself to ever impulsively enter a state of euphoria again! I know better and the high ain't worth the low!
Selling a house is not for the faint of heart. What I suspect happened is that the mother really wanted them to live near her and in the end they did not want that. It's very disappointing. It's more about them then it is you. Your house is lovely and in a good location. It will sell.
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