There I was. Here I am! What now?

I have learned a hard lesson this year. I am not in control of anything. I always gave that idea lip service, but now I know it to my core. Hell, I can not even string three coherent sentences together right now. I had the most perfect year of my life last year; now I don't know which end is up. But I do know one thing; I am blessed with many gifts. And the greatest of these...is love.  Know that as I write this I am sobbing - in grief and gratitude; in despair and thankfulness; in confusion and, yet clarity. I am loved. This man has shown me that more over the past 7 months than in the whole 13 years we have been together. When I was first injured in February he stepped up and became a horseman, and learned what it is to have that bond. When I subsequently became ill and through further injuries, he never once complained. He knew what I needed even when I did not and sent my back to my roots to help me feel grounded again. When the decision was made to part with Ali,

Life can go to shit - fast! 2019 has proven that. As much as I soldiered on through the various mishaps that I covered in my previous post, I have had one too many to continue. Hence - down and out for the count. Two days after we returned from our trip to Europe, I fell and broke my left wrist necessitating surgery and 3 pins. Life threatening - no. But after the previous incidents - spirit breaking. There is no surgery for that. I have little left in my personal resource bucket. Deciding to give up my horse and sell everything connected to my life here seemed the only logical thing to do. Oh..yes - there is a financial factor to all of this but I am not going into that. On its own, it would not have precipitated this. But..all things considered.. So we had to come up with a plan. Suffice it to say that when part of that plan seemed to necessitate leaving Rio behind, I lost my mind, pure and simple. Darren sent me to Nova Scotia for 3 weeks to regroup. That will be a separate b